25

I have lived so far a quarter of a century and I can hardly believe I'm getting close to adulthood. It seems that I have, biologically, stopped being a teenager a matter of hours ago and become a young adult. It's weird since I think I still lack enough emotional maurity. I've received lots of regards, well-wishes and congratulations, though.

I sulk every time I grow one year older. I can't believe how unexperienced I remain in spite of time. I want to fly away but I can't find any will to rise from my apathy. Yt I can'tstay here forever.

I don't want to grow older just here and let my youth go by.

23rd

The days have gone quite fast so far,
Though I still seem to be the same.
A newer kind of time begins
Yet there is no more ground for me.
It strikes me a different sort of life,
But it's not warm, it's incomplete,
As though no place for love could live
In this restraining atmosphere.
I only stand alone, and see
How everybody else moves on;
Does anyone goes back and forth?
I am afraid I left the world
To freeze. Perhaps I'm just the one
Who was left so. Another person
Could possibly celebrate, though
There is no reason, not by now.
On second thought, my life is not
The same. No more. A few events,
Discoveries that randomly
Break in. I've had no peace enough.
Some circumstances stop my long-
Awaited triumph. The long-gone light
Remains. My mind becomes too blurred
By inner loss. My heart cannot survive--
It does survive, but not quite fine.
As days pass on my being just drifts
Along with them. The coming years
Become a lead-like weight. My face,
Which cannot be surprised, starts
To fade to gray. The best times
Of life have turned to stone. The old,
Yet futile feelings stayed. I have
No place, no-one to go. My choice,
It seems, was never meant to exist.
But I have failed in caring not
For it. I've been left out from all.