Flow

Life and time have, in the last four months, proved to be a sequence of people and events that restlessly come and go. New cycles mark the end of older ones, people you've spent a long time with suddenly disappear and you only know they are still among the living thanks to hyper-textual means or chat systems, and so on. This also applies on the closest relatives: my sister's departure--due to work reasons--is just a matter of a couple of days, since she has been accepted in a resort centre in the Caribbean coast. This is not, yet, the first time she leaves us. Over a year ago she went for Australia and stayed ashore--working on a cruiser--for almost four months. Then she came back and now she leaves once again. She's excited about it and I wish her the best of lucks but, I will be lonelier than I already am. She has spent with me the afternoons at home for the last four months and I kind of got used to it. I'm sure I'm going to miss her, since she says to me things that make me feel a bit better in the moments I feel the worst, but now she won't be there to do it. From now on I will have to draw confidence/self-esteem from I-don't-know-where-on-earth (my parents stopped being the main source of them since quite a long while ago.) This time it looks more definite for, once she had worked there for a year, she will be sent abroad, and there she goes off. Only God (or life, or Fate, etc.) knows when we will meet again, as we've done so in my lifetime. Yet I always knew she would have to leave. Some day I will also have to. And I will hopefully meet people I will be befriended with and grow fond of yet, after the cycle is fulfilled, we'll, as it always happens, have to part company.

I just hope I can find someone whose company remains by my side for a long while (for fuck's sake, I'm not begging for all the money and all the power of the world!! I only want to find someone to whom love and requites me in a similar way! Is that so hard to achieve? Am I demanding too much?!)