Come Back

People from the past have recently come back to my life, as if they had been washed up by some kind of odd whirlpool life has proven to be in these last days. This meeting, however, which seemed to be lightyears away from me, and also hoped it was so, had taken place in a couple of my often bizarre, yet occasionally foreboding dreams a few weeks ago. As soon as I woke up I pondered a few seconds on the images I was exposed to and mumbled to myself: "There is no reason this could ever happen". I immediately dropped the subject and moved on.

I firmly used to believe that dreams, as faithful portraits of life in the realm of subcounsciousness, lacked any kind of point or whatsoever reason to exist. Life had neither specific goals nor higher purposes, and I had somehow managed to cope with such concept of reality. In those moments human existence was but a maze-like, kafkian cycle which led nowhere; it took me a long while (i.e. months) to reach such conclusion and to find some sort of practical use for it.

But life, or whatever it had done this, proved me wrong. Its intricate ways set me up and, in the most absurd examples of chance's whims, an old schoolmate recognized me. She stopped me and began to ask for the usual suspects: what I was doing by the time, where I lived, what had become of me. I could not think of an useful getaway plan and had to give her my e-address and mobile phone number. In the meantime she told me about the whereabouts of the rest of my back-then schoolmates. Then I went off. In the next hours several of them contacted me. I'm not sure whether this event was good or not, though. In those years, once we parted company with each other I never thought of looking for them. I don't know if I'm ready to see them again, nor even if I really want to. But I'm sure I never missed them, thence I left without saying a word to them.

My ominous dreams have attained a different meaning now. I don't know what to believe anymore, for those dreams I never asked for came true. I dreamt of a quite unlikely encounter and yet this happened; I'm beginning to be afraid of the other dreams, those in which I run into someone I really hope not to meet again. In a manner of speaking I have no place to hide anymore, for the impossible, meeting people I left behind twelve years ago, took place. Any kind of meeting could happen, therefore I must look for evacuation routes just in case.

I can't help but thinking of the fact that everybody breaks into my dreams, except the one I want to see in them. As it happens in real life, I meet everyone in the least likely places, but I never run into the one I wish for.