Green Faery

I know you are so sweet and beautiful to be let down by anyone. Once I heard you calling me I went for you right away, for I knew you made all this far, from the other ocean shore. Green has always been my favourite colour, thence it had resulted as love at first sight. For a moment I thought I could follow you till the end of the world. I tasted your sweet kiss as you held me in your arms. I felt like lying by your side as your breath flowed down my lungs and then I felt I was floating.

You washed my pain away when you bridged the distance between time and space and then laid me down into forgetfulness. In a few minutes I could get rid of all the sorrows that had gnawed the core of my heart and put it to waste. You discovered that my thoughts poured sickness over my soul and dispeled them, letting the smell of your skin bathe me with unconsciousness. I'd be yours as long as you were beside me, for I would not miss anything as long as I slept in your ethereal embrace.

You were so perfect. I could have looked into your lonely eyes forever. I would've not minded if there was no tomorrow because I would never suffer from the void that has undermined my spirits since long again. I thought I could follow you a million miles away from here and forget about everything to start all over, where my life was blank to be shaped again. I would never have to walk the same gray paved streets, restlessly staring into the dull, silent sky. But then I saw through your hazy eyes and found the mirage in your attire. The pain returned and dragged me into the storm of the messy thoughts I tried to forget by taking you. The tide washed me up, I was alone again. I swam in a sea of sham I thought could save me but, once again, I only felt the stale truth raining on me.

For a moment I thought I had just paid the price for going to her, since she never made any promise she could not keep. I had already heard about her but I didn't care, forgetfulness was the only thing I bade her and she agreed to grant it to me, and the rest was just the aftermath of her spell. At the beginning her caress kept me warm, but she only pretended to be there. The snow came over me and I didn't notice how long I lied there, but I couldn't stop quivering for I knew my mind would not stand the pressure in my heart. I got up and realized then she was never the one I was stumbling for. The one I had since long wished to find lives now in a realm I will never be able to go to. The faery was not the one in whose shadow I would become as she walked in the sun just to follow her trace and be by her side. My heart came undone when I knew she will always live away from me and, as my mind kept drfiting around, I saw my face slightly altered when reflected upon the ice. She and me we would never share the sound of the chiming bells before the night befell upon us, leaving behind the sorrows born in the older days that hammered the roofs of the ondulating horizon. I kept trying to recall those moments that never happened just to find little debris of souvenirs scattered all over the air, songs I loved because they brought the memories of all that could have been. Nothing but the omnipresent pain came along as I walked on.

The promise of a wonderful life was out there, as long as I could find it. During the reverie the faery drowned me into I thought I was lucky enough to experience such marvel finally. Drowsiness, yet, made me long for the one I have always wanted. I wished she was there to put my arms around her waist, just as people who hold tight to a tree not to be dragged away by the flood do. But the hazy body was not the one I wanted to hold onto. The faery would never be there for me to live with me, neither the one I wished for. I kept walking through roads I felt I had walked before, on the lanes that would never lead me to the goal I had to forget just to help myself through. I thought of taking my last breath and trying to get into the waters but I was too sore to do so. Yet wishful thinking always meddles and I felt like shutting my eyes, like I would finally see her in my mind. The faery came back and told me "Don't look back, just come to me. If you let me sing for you I will never let you down again."

I never had any better choice but going on and touring the void.