Jr. Painkiller

Pain. I have run into it since long ago. I daily feel its spiritual, void-borne meaning. Lack and loss have so far begotten it and I was even beginning to get used to it. Yet, just as I thought it couldn't be worse, I feel its physical counterpart now. Every time I try to move around, this face of pain makes me feel more insecure. I feel hopeless as I walk. Every step I take leads me to a deeper understanding of such odd signified. At least the worries of spiritual pain become replaced by the massacre among bones, nerves, flesh. Though I wish somebody were there for me to hold me if I fall, if I weep. Spiritual and fleshly pain couple then.

In his endless love and mercy, God has fortunately granted mankind any sort of substances to produce a plentiful variety of narcotics. Numbness means bless now. Whether I heal or not doesn't matter at all, as long as it drives my pain off. I only have to take a couple of pills every now and then and I feel better. My mind becomes tired. My limbs relax. I don't want to be awake any longer. It's easier now for I just want to crawl to my bed. After eight hours I'll take my meds and I'll be content again.

I wish I could live out my existence in numbness.