Once Again

Cough has undermined my health and my body feels quite sore. Weakness has increased and I have spent the most of the day at home, in bed. I can't speak yet and the pain only trickles, but doesn't relent at all. This has lasted quite long. At the same time my spirits have quickly fallen down. I don't want to go outside and live my life in the only way I know how to live it. The only thing I strongly wish for is laying to rest. I don't feel like eating but only get up to prepare the tea. There is an important task I must complete but I really need to rest. Every now and then I weep just for the sake of it, even if I'm not thinking of the reasons to do so. Maybe I just cry for my illness, or maybe just for rain, I don't know. I think that if I died tomorrow I wouldn't mind at all, I just want everything to end. Maybe that's why I feel like crying.

And, once again, no. There is no one to hold me and comfort me.