Eight Minutes Until Detonation

Another year. Another cycle spent in a limbo of unfulfilled expectations. I'm glad I had enough work to try to fill the gaps in my life. It felt like medicine against the leisure time that would lead me to endless pondering that would derive into long, gloomy days. I sometimes believed that there was more in life than this but, after certain time of getting stuck in the same place and not knowing what to do next, I resolved to stop thinking about it. Maybe one of the main progresses of this year was my discovering of meaninglessness of life and its events. I would have liked learning to cope with such futility, I should have done so but I failed to do so.

Yet I discovered something new, I only have to stick to money and keep the way to procure it to me. Given my circumstances I'll have to pay my way out from all the pits I've fallen into. I'd like to fly far, far away. I'm sure if I get into another sort of troubles I will stop thinking about the nonsensical thoughts that have been since long bothering me. I don't care about what I wanted anymore, for I'm not sure to want it now. Past wishes seem futile, they never came true and they ought not to become true. There is no choice but sticking to the things at hand. I'd like to find something new, though.

I'll have to learn how to cope with the futility in/of life. If I take deception nothing won't be able to let me down.